This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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