I bet he comes in French.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
