Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Pants are for mortals
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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