you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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