Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
