Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
