just come out here and I will go home with you...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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