oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he just fucked me for my cheese.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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