First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
