i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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