is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I would ride that face into the sunset
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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