He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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