Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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