Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
