Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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