its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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