oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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