Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
