You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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