it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
