If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
