talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
