i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
