You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
