No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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