Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
