I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If its not for food we ain't going out.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize