good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
