people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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