That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
