I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
