I hate your face
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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