That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
