the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
