kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
