I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
