if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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