Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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