508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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