wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
