the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize