What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize