roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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