apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
