I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize