What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
