I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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