I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
