I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
