Its about making memories worth repressing
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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