Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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