I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
