No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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