My nipple is on Facebook.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
