but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
There's even glitter on my cock...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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