Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize