Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The Olympian is in my bed
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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