dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
