ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
