Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
