Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
