We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
